Kia Ora, nga mihi koutou,
I am “Breaking Silence” a 30 year old mother of 5 tamariki on a journey to reclaim my life after allowing power to be held over myself out of fear from events and people from the past.
My blog is a self recovery page that I will also be using while writing my book on MH and AOD issues that we as a family and I as a individual have faced over the years.
We have all had different walks, high and low’s , I am just another person in recovery wanting to share and listen to others.
We can learn and empower one another form our stories.
As a teen I remember what it was like at high school eager to finish and set off in life as a adult all the dreams and desires one had at a young age.
I couldn’t wait till the age of 18 was upon me oh how life was going to be great, little did I know what was in store was not at all anywhere near to great.
At the age of 18 I was a mother and Married, I was happy as I could ever be but deep in side there was something no one could see.
EFFECTS OF RAPE, ABUSE, PROSTITUTION, HOMELESSNESS & JAIL CELLS ALL BEFORE 17.
Deep down inside these were kept in little box where i thought to be safe; visually these could be hidden but to the HINENGARO and WAIRUA nothing can be hidden.
The deep dark secrets feed the HINENGARO & WAIRUA for years without my knowledge or that of anyone else.
Days became heavier, nights become long.
I become darker, ugly inside, unwilling to love to connect or care. The passion for the future, success of our family and our dreams had become a blur all things become very unclear, unfamiliar and uncomfortable. Love was lost vision was gone, hope and dreams unknown.
I wanted to give up, many times I tried yet something someone was there God never let me go, as alone and full of fear as I was he was there.
He allows me to be here to write today